My Larval New Job

Did I tell you about my new job? All I seem to do now is to worry about our kitchen. I wipe off counters and clean up crumbs and try to put everybody else's food away. My main job is to kill moths, larvae, and fleas. Our kitchen was completely attacked by them. At first I hoped they would go away since I could see the main problem wasn't coming from my food and my roommates are out of town, but when the problem didn't solve itself, I used two plastic bags as gloves and went through all my roommates' food. There were worms and eggs in the pasta, in the flour, in the baking ingredients, in the tea, in the cardboard, everywhere! I threw away a huge amount of their food (I would say sorry, but I'm not really). Every time I saw another larva that had found its way to the wall, I vacuumed it up immediately. I couldn't get the ones in the corners, so those I sprayed with windex. Hee.

I'm verrrry grateful that a friend of mine cleaned out the vacuum for me. I'm pretty sure there was no bag in there . . .

Now, several weeks later, we're still having problems. What to do? My roommates are back, but so far my strict instructions to have everything in Tupperware or glass or packaged well in the fridge are not being followed. I don't know where the problem is coming from now. I don't see larvae anymore, just moths. Each day I kill at least five with the broom and there are dust smears on the walls and ceiling. One of my roommates bought a sticky thing that attracts them, and about twenty died on there. But they just keep coming! It seems like the more I kill, the more appear! Ack. I have the broom nearby and two pieces of cardboard for killing moths in the air. Then there's a wedding invitation on the window sill that's being used to kill the fleas on the window (sorry, people, but aren't you glad it didn't just go in the garbage?).

I've also gotten rid of our garbage can just for food and instead labeled a pot with a lid on it as "Bioabfall." Vinegar didn't work. The new system seems to have gotten rid of the cloud of fleas that used to rise up when you opened up the cupboard under the sink, and because the pot is small, we have to empty it more often. Yay! (I never thought I'd be glad about that.)

But now I've just discovered that the fridge is no longer working, so I'm cooking up the three frozen pizzas I had in the freezer (I dare to eat cold cooked pizza more than cooked pizza that's been at room temperature for a long time). I'm also hoping someone will take out whatever is stinking up the fridge (I can't find it). I hope my food makes it til I can eat it all and we can get a new fridge. Oh man.

What would you say my job title is?