Five Years Ago

Maybe it's weird to commemorate this, but not for me, and I don't think it is for the other person involved, either. (We both talk about it quite openly.)

Five years ago yesterday, I became engaged to a wonderful young man. When I think of the five years since then, the experience becomes surreal and I think that I must be old though I still feel eighteen. But when I think of the details of that time, it seems like it wasn't very long ago. I am glad to have the pain of breaking off an engagement and letting go of my love over with, though dramatic feelings sure do make life exciting (more so than being stressed because you can't find the sources you need to write a paper). How grateful I am that we made it through the experience. He and his lovely wife will be parents in January and I'll be getting ready to burn my Master's thesis that won't have taken shape yet, with five years of independent working and traveling and learning behind me.

Some day, I will fall in love and be loved again. (With the same person simultaneously as object and subject might be good.) I will know that this time, this time, it's right. And it will be a beautiful thing.