Finals at U, long bus to surprise - awesome BYU

(Transferred from my old blog on 18 August 2008.)

This last month has been one of C-raziness! For about three weeks, T* and I didn't hang out much because we both had so much to do. He did me a favor and called less so that I could get more done. Isn't that considerate of him? I needed to finish my independent study class before the semester ended so that I could have the credit transferred to the U. That way the credit would be on my transcript before the current classes, allowing me to have the limit of transfer credits in the last 30 hours. I had to read about 24 books in 6 days, write essays on them, and do a huge final project before taking the final. I worked my butt off, reading all the time, and I got them all turned in. However, the teacher sent one back that said, "I only grade a maximum of three assignments per week per student." Right on the independent study website it said that a course may be finished in two weeks up to a year. (I was going for the two weeks.)

Anyway, so then I had finals to worry about - mostly essays. They were huge, long, complicated essays that I really wanted to be nice. The worst part, or should I say the best part is, at the end of the semester at the U I was starting a semester at the Y. I'd never been to BYU and I was nervous about taking the bus, but Amy showed me around. My first day, the bus was a long ride (two hours down, three hours back), but when I got to campus, I was amazed. It is SO CLEAN. SO clean. So CLEAN! I never realized how filthy the U is until I saw the Y. Plus, they have so many awesome benefits and opportunities that the U doesn't. Teachers pass around announcements, and students have a lot of organizations and activities and they talk OPENLY about the Mormon culture - disadvantages and critiques included! I love it. I feel cheated. Here I am graduating from the U, and no one ever told me that the program I was looking for was an hour away. I just wanted to avoid the stereotypes. Now I see that that is silly. They actually have an editing major. Hello! So now I'm just trying to stuff as much education into this little experience as I can. I was having trouble with literary theory, and I asked about a term in my contemporary literature class at the Y, and the professor explained it so much better than my U professor! So, I told him he was better at explaining and that I had a final coming up, and he told me (before I could ask) to come to his office to talk about it. I went, and he gave me the low-down on the terms I needed to know, as well as letting me borrow some literary terms books and giving me a bookstore bag because my backpack was too full. Wow. Now I'm super-excited about literary theory. I didn't understand that it was meant to apply to literature, it just can be applied to literature. That's mostly why I was so confused. I'd learn about psychoanalysis and Marxism and I'd say, "What does this have to do with literature?" I think I wondered that because it's called "literary theory." Well, it shouldn't be. It should be called instead, "Philosphical thoughts that can be applied to literature if you look really hard." Anyway, I've found it to be much more interesting than I previously thought. We're reading this books called: "Poststructuralism: A Very Short Introduction." It's awesome because it's in simpler language and I love reading it over and over so that I can understand more. It's like the scriptures. You study them continually and you gain more as you go along. Oh, I went to the BYU writing center and got feedback on my paper about how and why men fear women's lack of autonomy. It was another thing in BYU's favor.

Anyway, the editing internship is cool. It's the main reason I came down here. The girls in the class are awesome, and we learn interesting things like "verso" and "recto" and modifiers and concision. Nifty. I'm in charge of an article called, "Creativity in the Cosmic Context: Our Challenges and Opportunities." It argues that Christ made his will synonymous with God's, and therefore he had all creativity. As children of God, we have inherent creativity that will only come to light when we make His will ours. Some people may argue that giving up our will limits us, but instead, it allows us to have universally-wide creativity. Cool.

I've learned to like the bus. I get to catch up on sleep and do homework while I sit there. Awesome. The only thing that bugs me is when I get a bad seat or have someone next to me talking on a cell phone, or worse yet, have them keep asking me weird questions. However, today there was a mentally handicapped guy on the bus, and he kept interrupting me to ask questions. At first I was annoyed because I wanted to get my homework done, but he had such an innocent, sweet spirit. He kept saying, "We're friends, huh Michelle." Then he'd stick out his hand and have me shake it, over and over again. He talked about my mission and how everyone is related because we're brothers and sisters and about Joseph Smith (he saw what I was editing) and jobs and relationships. He wrote down his address so that I can write him a letter from my mission. So that was interesting.

Well, I finished up finals at the U and survived (barely). T* left for D.C. on Saturday. I went with him to the airport so that I could take his car back. I am so amazed that he allows me to use his car. That is such a sign of respect to me. M* never let me because he was afraid of his parents and insurance problems. The funny thing is, I kind of felt like he was going to miss me more than I was going to miss him, but I wondered how that could be, because he'd be the one having all the fun. Well, it's funny. We could go several days without talking here in Salt Lake, but now that he's ungettable I'm going a little bit crazy. It's like a heartache. And it's only for seven days. I want to call him, but I don't know what time he's busy or what time he gets up or what time he goes to sleep, and I don't want to seem desperate. Man, he's going to have a FUN time while I'm in Germany for a month. This year, I'm not calling and begging for anyone to come over. I'm diving right in and learning all I can while enjoying some rays at the beach. T* left a message on Sunday that said, "I just wanted to wish your mom a happy Mothers Day and you a future one, although I feel sorry for your kids! Haha, just kidding." Then he called later and made me so jealous. He said that he was on the University of Maryland's campus and that it was BEAUTIFUL. It just reminded me of all my dreams to go back east to school and I started worrying about money again. I will go back there! Maybe I can get an assistantship at the University of Virginia. The only thing that I'm scared about is that I now know that I don't know anything. Like the saying, "The more you learn, the more you know you don't know." I've already decided that I'm going to self-educate myself when I'm not going to school in the fall. I'll read a lot and study literary theory and work on my editing skills and see what I can do about magazine editing and publishing.

So last night we got out of work at 9:15, and no one else was parked at the conference center. Lynne offered me a ride to the conference center, and I took it. She drove away and I realized that T*'s keys were in her car. I went through a lot of phone calls to get those keys and ended up meeting Lynne and Dad at the 3300 South Trax Station. I called Lina, then Fabiola, who enlisted Ashley, then I called Julie Gail with the number Fabiola gave me, and then Lynne and Dad. Wow. Crazy night. I got home at about 10:45 and I felt like a fool who had wasted an hour and a half. The funny thing is, Dad waved to some dude sitting at the bus stop at the Trax station, and the guy came over and asked if Dad was going his way. He kept HOVERING. Lynne had pulled in right behind Dad, so I grabbed the keys and went and jumped back into the car. Dad reminded me of Grandma's saying, "Poor men have poor ways." I said, "Dad, it's your own fault that he came and talked to you. You waved at him." He said, "I thought it was you." "Haha." "You don't look like that?" Hee hee.

I used my check card for the first time yesterday. Now that is a scary thing. It is so easy just to slide that little piece of plastic and have 20 bucks zapped out of my possession. I didn't have to put in a password or sign or anything. How sad that we've become like that. That' s why I won't get a credit card.