Problem Area

Have you ever marked one of those makeup cards at one of those awful makeup parties, you know, the ones that have questions like:

"Which skin color is closest to your face? very fair, fair, tan, bronze, brown"

(When they really mean: pasty, pale, orange, burnt, and not White.)

Well, when I get to the following, I never quite know how to answer:

"Circle your problem area: no problem area, forehead, nose, cheeks, hairline, chin, T-zone."

You see, the problem is, my problem area is . . . my skin in general. But if the "problem" is so dominant, isn't that "normal"? Should I circle "no problem area"? Okay, I admit to myself, so there are a few areas that are quite normal, like the skin on my shin (I guess we could call it the "shin-skin"). At this point in my thought process, though, I have to remind myself they're talking about my face. ("But what about my chest and my back?" I protest, shaking the thought out of my head and gripping my pencil more firmly.) Then I start to wonder about the T-zone. That's getting closer to classifying my "problem area," but the letter T just isn't as closed as it needs to be. Why not the lower-case-e-on-its-side-zone? But that's not as closed as it needs to be either. How about the o-with-a-line-down-the-middle-zone? That's it! I've got it!

Then I remember that "o-with-a-line-down-the-middle-zone" is not an option, that I don't intend for this person to become my personal makeup specialist anyway, and I'm only here to appease a friend. I mark the T-zone and fill in a fake phone number.

Until next time, Mary Kay. For now, I'll stick to my Rite Aid makeup that I bought 2-for-1 and that is returnable even after being used because Rite Aid knows not everyone can pick the right color on the first try and some people have buyer's guilt no matter what they buy.