Tooth Jewels

There's been a curious fad appearing around here. It's one of those fads that makes you wonder what's wrong until you realize it's supposed to be there, like those creepy snake-eye contacts that people sported a few years ago. Maybe I'm getting too out of touch with fashion, but putting a jewel on your tooth? Wouldn't you worry about swallowing it or having it fall out and stick to your chin or sweater like Thoroughly Modern Millie's beauty spot? It seems funny to me to bring attention to the most potentially-disgusting part of your body that is visible, but I've seen it on more and more lateral incisors of girls who have otherwise similar tastes. Tooth jewels make me think of Lawson bling. As my cultural analysis, I think these jewels are an unconscious way to show off natural beauty or wealth. Think about it--since only those with perfect teeth seem to wear them, they must either have really good genes or they can afford to whiten and straighten their teeth.

*I wonder if tooth jewel wearers will be embarrassed when their kids look back at pictures of them and say, "Mom, you had something stuck on your tooth in this picture!" I think I'm going to stick a piece of that spinach I have sitting in the fridge in my teeth and see if that becomes a fad or if people remark that I have very nice teeth.