27 September 2010

Wherein I Complain About Green Things

I'm pretty sure I've talked about vegetables before, and that I will talk about them again. But just in case I didn't say it before, I don't like vegetables. And every time I discover one that I think is okay, I find out it's a fruit, like tomatoes, cucumbers, squash. So now I just categorize fruits and vegetables together and the word "vegetable" describes the ones that aren't very good.

Did you know I couldn't tell the difference between a zucchini and a cucumber until I worked at the Farmer's Market and had to ask people which one they meant? (I still can't tell right off the bat.) Or here's one: I have no idea what an artichoke heart looks like, about how much it would cost, how to prepare it, or what it tastes like.

But I'm pretty sure that artichokes are like salads in their need to be disguised in order to be edible.

Everyone: "Try this salad. It is soooo good."
Me: "Umm, I don't eat leaves."
Everyone: "You can't even taste the leaves."
Me: "So why should I eat them? And no, I'm not going to drink some of your dressing."
(P.S., just to add to the negativity here, let me just say that my opinion of dressing is this: "Let's take all the worst things we can find in our cupboards and mix them together and eat them on leaves--vinegar, ketchup, nuts, mushrooms, red onions, eggs, etc.")

Anyway, so aren't artichokes those ones that people dip in butter?

I don't like butter. (See? I'm not just anti-vegetable.) So, the natural conclusion would now be: I don't like artichokes.

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