The World According to Student Bloopers

To get you laughing in the new year, read this collection of history student mistakes.

December's Links to Love

Artsy:

1-second snippets of beauty:

Seconds Of Beauty - 1st round compilation from The Beauty Of A Second on Vimeo.

Zooey Deschanel contributes at HelloGiggles.

12 Drawings a Day:

12 Drawings a Day - 12 Dessins par Jour from Denis Chapon on Vimeo.

Couples' outfit switches.

Street calligraphy (though I wish people would stick to spray painting on their own property):

Herbert Baglione Nuart 2011 from NUART on Vimeo.

3.2 million dots:

Hero from Miguel Endara on Vimeo.

Facebook van.

What do you see in these clouds?


Literary:

BetterWorldBooks donates a book for every book you buy, and the books ship free!


Yes, I Love Technology:

Share self-destructing links. (They appear only once.)

Birth of icons: Susan Kare's sketchbook.

Translate the web while learning a language:



Cool use of Facebook timelines.

Can red light runs be predicted?

A gaming device that can read lips. Great technology for the deaf community, right?

AirPod: air-run car (imagine less than $.50/100km):



French tech company bans email. Wow.


Random:

Cool ski video:

JP Auclair Street Segment (from All.I.Can.) from Sherpas Cinema on Vimeo.

I just about died laughing while I read Damn You Auto Correct's Top 25.

Funny Taiwanese animations about U.S. topics.

I think sloths should replace the whole internet cat thing, don't you?



Nerdboyfriend.

For pet haters out there: stuff* my pets ruined (*not real word).

Lobby for businesses to change through CarrotMob.

Rate snowmen.

Lovely cover:



Netflix-like toy rental.

Pre-Photoshop fashion mag cover.

Pogo stick coolness:



Elderly animals:

Elderly Animals: Photographs by Isa Leshko from Mark & Angela Walley on Vimeo.

Woolly mammoth to be cloned.

History of Glitter:

All That Glitters: The History of Shiny Things from Etsy on Vimeo.

Bad wedding photos from Ellen. I swear at least two must be German. And bad school photos. And her best scares:

The Rap Board: rappers' signature faces and sayings. And typography portraits.

The Goodwin Project:

The Goodwin Project from Avocados and Coconuts on Vimeo.

Here's to the end of 2011, peoples!

Hypnobirthing

If the subject of birth grosses you out, read no further.

Since my best friend was getting ready to have her first baby, I read up on hypnobirthing, which my sister highly praises, and which is not as freaky as it sounds. And though it may sound weird to have a single girl reading up on such subjects, I really enjoyed what I learned and I'm now completely convinced I will use my own personalized version of hypnobirthing some day. Here are my rough notes from my readings in hopes that they may help someone some day:

• Fear is a problem. No fear=no pain. Pain comes from tensing up and it is not inevitable. We have conditioned ourselves to believe it is a curse. Let your body do the work. Endorphins are natural pain-killers. Amnesiac condition: mother draws into herself and her baby and forgets the world. Bodies naturally know how to birth, proved by other cultures and animals where birthing is no big deal. Birth is about family fulfillment. Women, partners, and babies are the main roles and should be listened to. Pregnant women are not diseased, nor are they ill, thus birthing does not have to take place in a medical facility. HypnoBirthing allows for aware, happy infants, and mothers who feel tired but well immediately after birth. HypnoBirthing cuts down on medical costs and length of labor.
• What is experienced in the body is determined by the mind. Use positive words to discuss birthing plans (don't talk in "victim language"). Hypnosis is not as negative as people think--no one can be caused to do something they don't want to do through hypnosis. It is a natural state of focus that we use on a daily basis. Labor while in self-hypnosis means you are focused on being in charge and relaxed, in being part of your body and baby. Babies are affected by screaming, tenseness, and drugs: why make their birth traumatic?
• Bond with the baby before birth as much as possible, through music, massage, conversation, singing, empathic imaginations.
• Breathing (slow, deep breaths: draw in for up to 20 counts, then exhale equally slowly, with body still and limp, with body visualized as a bowl for your baby to rest in), relaxation (dim light, no disturbances, empty bladder, comfy clothes, background music, focusing on relaxing each muscle, light massage on back/arms/neck, repeat letters through the entire alphabet, of time going by without being noticed), visualization (of being in beautiful places, moving through different colors, of opening blossoms, floating upward with balloons) and of being energized, deepening. Practice daily just as an athlete would, and with your partner/coach.
• Practice having your birth partner give you an anchor, or a sign, like a hand squeeze, that signals that you need to relax more deeply.
• Practice birth breathing on the toilet: shorter intakes with nudging breaths downward (not too forceful)
• Pushing is not good. Breathe your baby down gently instead of forcing it out, otherwise you will be limiting your baby's oxygen as well as your own, weakening both of you.
• Stretch inner thigh muscles twice daily. Squatting (called the "Leaping Frog stance--with your arms inside your spread knees or behind you at the side of your hips so there's room for the baby and attendant and it relieves pressure in your butt) is a good birth posture, but we're not used to it as other cultures, so squat.
• Perineal massage with oil stretches muscles and readies them for birth without tearing. (Practice relaxing and visualizing then.)
• Have a list of birth preferences and discuss them with health provider and partner ahead of time.
• If baby is breech, relax and get it turned by health provider.
• False labor=practice labor.
• Remember that due dates are just guesses. Relax. Let mother nature and your body and the baby ripen.
• Read affirmations daily.
• Partner: make labor go as you've envisioned (ask others to be quiet and calm, answer questions for you, etc.), touch, massage, wipe sweat, retrieve cool/wet cloth, get snacks, running the music and lights, changing positions, bathroom breaks, etc.
• Begin labor relaxed and at home, in quiet and comfort, with the support of your partner. Calm down "ready-to-go" feelings. Get ready to go when surges are three and a half to four minutes apart.
• Don't clench, clutch, or curl up. Walking is not necessarily helpful, nor is it relaxing during surges. Only do it if you feel the need to.
• Passing time through slow parts of labor: birth ball, tub or jacuzzi, shower, humor, nipple stimulation, light touch massage, walking
• Expect: body heat to go up and down, spotting, hiccups, burps, nausea when the diaphragm first reacts to labor, the feeling of needing to escape (relax in this case)
• There are many positions. Move as you feel is best. Lateral position (on your side with a pillow to hold up a leg)
• You or your partner can catch the baby and instantly cuddle, skin-to-skin. The baby will even instantly seek milk.

Salt Lake City is Pretty

Salt Lake City is pretty.



Found here.

Underestimated Present for Guys to Give Gals

I don't think guys will ever know how absolutely fabulous it is when they can do hair. It feels nice and it is so personal and something to brag about. Agree?





Nice work, Michael.

Kill Facebook

I can think of some better things to kill. (Spotted in Portland, Oregon, minutes before passing an "End Petlessness!" billboard.)

More Adventures in Face Recognition Technology

Remember when Picasaweb started tagging faces in my photos? Years later, face recognition technology still isn't perfect. Thus, iPhoto also provides great fun:


Because making a mean face makes one look like Paul, apparently.



Nice job, iPhoto. That is a face. Or a drawing of one, anyway.



No grumpy child will be named.


Non-faces that iPhoto thinks are faces:


Anything shaped like a diamond must be a face.



This hair looks more like a landscape if you ask me.



?



?



I sincerely hope no one's face looks like this, don't you?

Childcraft Book on Gender

Do you ever glance at books that have been around forever just to see what they hold? I laughed at the obvious generation gap that showed up in a Childcraft book on my parents' shelves. Just look at this page:





"It's fun to be a girl and wear a gay costume. It's good to be a mother and sew. Such companionship makes a girl want to be like Mom."

Wow. So many levels of discomfort for someone of my generation and feminist leanings (not to mention the use of a word which was so great for rhyming but which now has a very different meaning). Being a girl is all about being fun, huh? And girls should all be interested in dressing up? What about mothers--is it bad to be a mother and not sew? Does that mean girls won't have companionship with their mothers? What if they don't want to be just like Mom? How do you like that capitalized "Mom"? We could do a close reading just on that . . .

And man, that poor mother looks like she's at least fifty years older than her daughter. Sad.

Last question: is it just me, or does that girl's profile kind of look like mine?

Adventures with Sadie

Wonder how tall a tower built out of every wooden block in the Bankhead playroom would be? Wonder no longer:




Want to know what Sadie's hair looks like after I cut it? Like this:

Elite Education

People seem annoyed with Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin's decision to get a tutor for their kids, but I think it's because they're jealous. They're jealous that they can't afford the same for their kids. They're jealous that they didn't get that kind of treatment. They're jealous of the person who has enough training so he or she can fill the position. (Oh, and as for that bit about the kids being too young to work on other languages, pshaw! Young is when you really learn languages. Everyone knows that and I wish I'd had that luxury.)

I'm certainly jealous. Every time I read a Victorian novel and see how kids were educated at home by people who stayed by their sides for years, I think how that would be so ideal. I guess letting the classes even out a bit has ruined that for most of us.

Now, if I had enough money, these would be my requirements. The tutor I hire would need to:

• be good at kindly keeping kids in line
  
• be fluent in English, Spanish, Chinese, Russian, Arabic, Hindi, and German, and teach in one of those languages on separate days of the week
  
• teach piano, violin or cello, and guitar (including intense music theory)
• spend a lot of time outdoors with the kids
• play basketball, soccer, volleyball, chess, Scrabble, Settlers, and a variety of face card games
• do creative, hands-on and abstract projects with the kids
  
• teach philosophy, writing (not as in handwriting--I really don't care), religion, psychology, art history, world history, business, math, good morals, typing, web design, other useful computer skills, and how to be physically healthy
  
• teach communication and social skills

I can dream. What else should I add to my list?

Kids Say the Darndest Things

Kid quotations that will make me happy forever more:


Amy at Family Night: "When God does something amazing, that's a miracle. And God can do anything."
Three-year-old Sadie: "Can He do a handstand?"


Sadie upon waking: "Mom?! . . . Mom?! . . . Mom?! . . . Fairy Godmother?"


Five-year-old James while playing Scrabble: "You dropped most of the bag's contents."


James upon describing a dream: "Gladly, no one was hurt."


James while painting: "Unfortunately, some paint got on the table."


Me: "In the meantime . . ."
I can't remember which kid but it's still funny: "Why is the time so mean?"


Amy: "Everyone has to eat, every day."
Sadie: "Even Jesus Christ?"
Amy: "Umm, probably."