04 February 2009

Letter to the Roomies

Dearest roommates:

I'm really glad to have roommates like you. However, something has been bothering me ever since I moved in here. I haven't said anything because it seems so obvious. See this?

When that second light switch is depressed like that, and the door to the bathroom is shut, that most logically means that someone is in the bathroom. And that someone might be me. And that someone, who can hear you coming, might appreciate it if you wouldn't yank on the door handle to see if someone's in there. Just look at the light switch.

While we're at it, why don't we mention this--

the bike that you carry up and down the stairs most days and deposit in the hall. It likes to leave mud on the floor and cause either the bathroom door or the front door not to be able to open without hitting your bike. I guess I should also mention the mud tracks that should have been cleaned up ages ago:

I'm glad, however, that you stopped hanging your sweaty, stinky sports clothes in the bathroom, but how about this habit that I will never get used to and that has also bothered me since I arrived?:

Don't you think it's a little unfair to use the public hall to hang your laundry, including your underwear? I have the smallest room out of all of us, and I have yet to hang my laundry in the hall. Remember that time I asked you to put your laundry in your room? It wasn't because we were having guests or because there were already three laundry stands in the hall that I had to squeeze through and move to on top of the couch so I could get into my room. I meant that for always, not just for that day. Thank you, though, for finally washing the dirty dishtowels I keep balling up on the washing machine.

I can forgive you for leaving the bathroom window open (though on cold days it's hard) to clear out the air after you've done your business, because you're at least trying to be polite (or maybe just trying to hide what you left us), but see this?

I don't know if you've noticed, but I always clean up after I cook a meal, cut some bread, or even just get a glass of water instead of letting the evidence sit there for a few weeks. It would be nice if you would do the same; I don't want to be selfish and be the only one to use the sponge and soap.

Oh, another thing. You'd think I'd be the one who needed to be reminded that there are no disposals here. I'm not sure how you think that things like olives and large chunks of tomatoes or noodles are going to go down this little drain (though I've already forced most of it down), but do you think you could put those in the bio bin?

And you know how I'm always turning off the hall light when you forget? It's not just to save electricity.

It's because I'm the only one who has a window above my door, and my bunk bed happens to be on the other side of that window. No matter what I do, there always seems to be a place where light shines through. So when you stumble in in the middle of the night and leave the light on, guess who you wake up and who has to climb out of bed? I know it's hard to turn it back on because you have to play with three different switches until you find the right combination, but please turn off that light.

Oh, and one last thing. Maybe you've noticed the nearness of my door to the junk closet.

Not the smartest architecture. Unless you like it when I scare myself and make a racket coming out of my room, it might be nice if you could always close the door to the closet after retrieving and returning items. While you're at it, you can practice opening and closing doors quietly.

I'd really appreciate it. ;)

However, I have been enjoying this little luxury during transitioning roommates:




  1. You brought back many painful memories, Michelle. One time my roommate spilled red Kool-Aid all over the kitchen, and when I came back from vacation a week later, it was still there. Ugh.

  2. That's a lot of stuff to vent. Good thing you let it all out or maybe you would have exploded, which is what I would have done. Little things like that bug me and the funny thing is, is they are little things, so easy to do. Good luck with everything.

  3. looking at those picture I feel like a detective

  4. Amy: one roommate had left a horrendous mess and some food sitting out for a long while, and I figured it must be cleaned up before Christmas, but on the last day, the door clicked and everyone was gone . . . with the mess and me still there.

    Heather: Yeah, they are little, but isn't it crazy how they bother?

    Bryce: Yeah, the detective of neglected household duties, ha ha.

  5. I don't think I'd do too well living with people I didn't already know well enough to not offend them by telling them my pet peeves. Good job dealing with it.

  6. Wow, that just made me remember when I had roommates...

  7. Melissa, your roommate stories are enough to scare anyone . . . I guess I don't have it that bad.